I hate her.

My flatmate has done the unthinkable! She took me to that place where they do evil things to you. This time she left me there and they took me to the back. I was put in to a box that looked like a fish tank and all of a sudden I started to feel whoosie. When I woke up my neck fur was wet and my rear-end didn't feel normal. I found out later that they take your temp. in there and they did a swab in there too! WTF! She is so bloody mean for taking me there. She must be trying to kill me! At least I was put to sleep though. I would have fought back like last time and given all of them a piece of my mind. Bloody twits!

Help!

That boy who is over here all the time needs to come back soon! My flatmate won't stop hugging and kissing me and it't bloody annoying. Who does she think I am?! Her pet?! I mean, honestly, we on the same level here! I know we enjoy each other's company but this is overboard. I hope she doesn't think I'm some kind of twit. I'll get her back. Anyway, I have to go see an man about a dog, cheers!

Have no clue what I'm saying? In case we've never met, I'm British. Figure out what I'm trying to tell you Americans here. Or just Google "British slang."