Help!

That boy who is over here all the time needs to come back soon! My flatmate won't stop hugging and kissing me and it't bloody annoying. Who does she think I am?! Her pet?! I mean, honestly, we on the same level here! I know we enjoy each other's company but this is overboard. I hope she doesn't think I'm some kind of twit. I'll get her back. Anyway, I have to go see an man about a dog, cheers!

Have no clue what I'm saying? In case we've never met, I'm British. Figure out what I'm trying to tell you Americans here. Or just Google "British slang."